Are you a girl…

As I was running out the door for work, I debated if I should grab my lipstick. Over the weekend, I had moved it from my bathroom to my purse, but I don’t take a purse to work. I was running a bit behind schedule, so I decided against it.

Towards the end of my work day, I heard a voice next to me ask, “Are you a girl…” Hearing this, I braced myself for the rest of the question… “or are you a boy?” I don’t know how quickly the question was being asked, but I was definitely hearing it in slow motion.

I looked down to see a pre-schooler looking up, asking with curiosity and sincerity.

Little did this child know that the loss of my hair has been harder than losing my breast. The breast had cancer – go ahead, get rid of it. My hair didn’t have cancer.

Little did this child know that being mistaken for a boy has been one of my fears as I’ve retired my wig Cousin Itt.

Knowing better than to ask “What do you think?” Instead, I said, “I’m a girl, adding, “with really short hair,” so my answer might have been in a slow motion as well. Drat, I should’ve gone back for the lipstick this morning.

She responded, “I’m a girl with short hair too.” Compared to the other girls, her chin length bob was short but definitely longer than mine. Just like that, she joined the group of children, giving me a quick wave over her shoulder.

Maybe this little girl asked the question out loud that other people are thinking. Who knows. Even though that has been a fear of mine, you know what, it doesn’t matter. I’m still me. People can think what they will, and I’m starting to realize that I don’t much mind what people think.

I wasn’t one who knew how to use a hairdryer beyond turning it on and off, yet my long hair was such a part of how I saw myself. So having a pixie-length ‘do is a pretty big change for me. Not going to lie, as soon as I got home, I put on some lipstick and put on a headband. I’ll definitely make sure I have tubes of lipsticks all over the place – work bag, bathroom, and purse – but I’ll make sure I love my hair for were it is right now.